Short dating period before marriage deaf and dumb dating
Several years later I still think about that man when I masturbate, and I feel guilty because I’m in a relationship, and I find my ex pretty gross. You may find it helpful to think of your fantasies not as a maladaptive compulsion but as a sign that you now feel secure enough to process some of the traumatic aspects of your previous relationship.
I know that my ex was manipulative, that he took advantage of our age difference, and that I’m never getting back together with him. You sound very clear on the fact that you don’t want to get back together with this guy and don’t think the way he treated you was acceptable, so don’t be too hard on yourself for eroticizing your past from your present position of safety.
In exchange you’ve received valuable electronics, camping supplies, and cash.
I am horrified and astonished that you are still asking for more.
We’ve been together for more than five years, and our relationship is still great.
Our sex life was quite passionate (and kinky), but retrospectively I find that period of my life icky, to say the least.
He convinced me that the age gap was “romantic,” and I thought it was pretty hot.
Nevertheless he’s the main character in my fantasies when I touch myself. That’s not to say it’s not worthwhile and meaningful to do a little more digging about what you’re getting out of these fantasies, the feelings they bring up, and what changes (if any) you’d like to make to your current sex life.
Working out past trauma in a healthy, safe, solo environment is not unhealthy, but if you were to discuss this dynamic with a therapist, you might find a great deal of relief in articulating your desires, your disgust, your regrets, and your experience.